Simpsons Jokes: 22 Best

Simpsons Jokes - Doctor Nick Riviera

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Check out 22 Simpsons Jokes we have found for you. The are the best humor Simpsons have given the World.

1. Maybe, just once, someone will call me ‘Sir’ without adding, ‘You’re making a scene.’

2. Marge, don’t discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel.

3. Lisa, if you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way.

4. When will I learn? The answer to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle, they’re on TV!

5. What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.

6. Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

7. I’m having the best day of my life, and I owe it all to not going to Church!

8. Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you’re prejudiced against all races.

9. Bart, with $10,000, we’d be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like…love!

10. Remember that postcard Grandpa sent us from Florida of that Alligator biting that woman’s bottom? That’s right, we all thought it was hilarious. But, it turns out we were wrong. That alligator was sexually harrassing that woman.

11. Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.

12. If something’s hard to do, then it’s not worth doing.

13. I’m in no condition to drive…wait! I shouldn’t listen to myself, I’m drunk!

14. ‘To Start Press Any Key’. Where’s the ANY key?

15. Lisa, Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.

16. All my life I’ve had one dream, to achieve my many goals.

17. Dad, you’ve done a lot of great things, but you’re a very old man, and old people are useless.

18. But Marge, what if we chose the wrong religion? Each week we just make God madder and madder.

19. I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I am around.

20. Son, when you participate in sporting events, it’s not whether you win or lose: it’s how drunk you get.

21. [Meeting Aliens] Please don’t eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!

22. It’s not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.

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If you know any other hilarious Simpsons Jokes that are not here, send them to us below.

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Roman Marshanski

Roman Marshanski

This post has been created by Roman Marshanski, the founder of this site. He loves film, comedy, and innovative technology. He believes in bringing about positive change to the world through good-natured humor and innovative technology. If you enjoyed reading this page, follow him on or for more awesome content.
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