127 Really Funny Corny Jokes

Funny Corny Jokes

Laugh at 127 really funny corny jokes. They are the best.

1 What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

2 What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where’s pop corn?

3 How do you make an egg-roll? You push it!

4 Did you hear about the sensitive burglar. He takes things personally.

5 Why does a seagull fly over the sea? Because if it flew over the bay it would be called a bagel!

6 Why couldn’t the sesame seed leave the gambling casino? A: Because he was on a roll.

7 What did the mayonnaise say when someone opened the refrigerator door. Close the door I am dressing!

8 Why is there a gate around cemeteries? Because people are dying to get in.

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Best Corny Jokes

9 Why did the poor man sell yeast? To raise some dough.

10 Why did Mozart kill his chicken? Because it kept saying Bach, bach, bach.

11 What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine? Give me my quarterback!

12 What’s brown and sticky? A stick.

13 How do billboards talk? Sign language.

14 How do snails fight? They slug it out.

15 What would bears be without bees? Ears.

16 An Italian chef has died. He pasta way.

17 What do lawyers wear to court? Lawsuits.

18 How many lips does a flower have? Tu-lips.

19 What’s a didgeridoo? Whatever it wants to.

20 When is a door not a door? When it’s ajar.

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21 Why was the sand wet? Because the sea weed.

22 How does a squid go into battle? Well armed.

23 What’s E.T. short for? He’s got little legs.

24 What does a nut say when it sneezes? Cashew.

25 What do you call crystal clear urine? 1080pee.

26 What do you call a pile of cats? A meow-ntain.

27 What do you call a sleeping bull? A bull-dozer.

28 What do you call anxious dinosaur? Nervous Rex.

29 Where do beef burgers go to dance? The meatball.

30 How much does a pirate pay for corn? A buccaneer.

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Corny Jokes For Kids And Adults

31 What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

32 What’s a bear with no teeth called? A gummy bear.

33 What do you call bees that produce milk? Boo-bees.

34 What kind of music do mummies listen to? Wrap music.

35 How do you impress a female baker? Bring her flours.

36 How did the barber win the race? He knew a short cut.

37 When is a car not a car? When it turns into a street.

38 Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.

39 What’s the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth hurty.

40 How do you make a Venetian blind? Poke him in the eyes.

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41 How do you make a Swiss roll? Push him down a mountain.

42 What do you call a shoe made out of a banana? A slipper.

43 How much does a Mustang cost? More than you can af-Ford.

44 Why is corn such a good listener? Because it’s all ears.

45 Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired.

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Funny Corny One Liners

46 What do you call an unpredictable camera? A loose Canon.

47 Which side of a duck has the most feathers? The outside.

48 Why do bananas wear sun cream? To stop them from peeling.

49 Did you hear about the population of Ireland? It’s Dublin.

50 What do you call a T-Rex that’s been beaten up? Dino-sore.

51 What do you call a baby monkey? A chimp off the old block.

52 What did the triangle say to the circle? You’re pointless.

53 What do you call a boat with a hole in the bottom? A sink.

54 What do you call a group of disorganized cats? Cat-astrophe.

55 What lies at the bottom of the sea shaking? A nervous wreck.

56 How do you stop moles digging in your garden? Hide the spade.

57 How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card.

58 Why did the cookie go to the doctors? Because he felt crummy.

59 Where do Volkswagens go when they get old? The old Volks home.

60 What did one toilet say to the other toilet? You look flushed.

61 Why did the stadium get hot after the game? All the fans left.

62 What’s a skeleton’s favorite musical instrument? The trom-bone.

63 What did the swordfish say to the marlin? You’re looking sharp.

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64 How does a rancher keep track of his cattle? With a cow-culator.

65 What do Olympic sprinters eat before a race? Nothing. They fast.

66 What did the fisherman say to the magician? Pick a cod, any cod.

67 What’s an astronauts favorite part of a computer? The space bar.

68 Why did the mobile phone need glasses? It lost all it’s contacts.

69 What did the first plate say to the second plate? Dinner’s on me.

70 Why are teddy bears never hungry? Because they’re always stuffed.

71 What did the hat say to the scarf? You go ahead, I’ll hang around.

72 Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it’d be a foot.

73 What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.

74 What do a dog and a phone have in common? They both have collar ID.

75 Why did Santa study music at college? To improve his wrapping skills.

76 What did the policeman say to his belly button? You’re under a vest.

77 Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.

78 How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles.

79 Why can’t you trust the king of the jungle? Because he’s always lion.

80 What do you call someone who plays tricks on Halloween? Prankenstein.

81 What did the red light say to the green light? Don’t look, I’m changing.

82 Why did the pig get hired by the restaurant? He was really good at bacon.

83 Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.

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84 Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his food? Because he was a little shellfish.

85 What did the chip say when he saw the cheese stealing? Hey, that’s Nachos.

86 Why shouldn’t you play cards on the savannah? Because of all the cheetahs.

87 Why could the bee not hear what people were saying? He had wax in his ears.

88 What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? You’re too young to smoke.

89 What disease do you get when you put up the Christmas decorations? Tinselitus.

90 Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road? Because it got stuck in a crack.

91 Why couldn’t the bad sailor learn his alphabet? Because he always got lost at C.

92 What did the first street say to the second street? I’ll meet you at the intersection.

93 Have you heard about the pregnant bed bug? She’s going to have her baby in the spring.

94 What’s the difference between America and a memory stick? One’s USA and the other’s USB.

95 Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay they’d be called bagels.

96 Why don’t penguins like talking to strangers at parties? They find it hard to break the ice.

97 Have you seen the movie Constipation? No, it has not come out yet.

98 Why don’t cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

99 Why do French people eat snails? Because they don’t like fast food.

100 Why didn’t the lifeguard save the drowning hippie? He was too far out.

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101 Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay they would be called bagels.

102 A man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm and says to the bartender: “I’ll have a shot of whiskey and a beer for the road.”

103 What do you call a computer that sings? A Dell.

104 What do you call a person that does not fart in public? A private tutor.

105 Why did the pig get hired at the restaurant? He was really good at bacon.

106 How did the pirate stop smoking? He used the patch.

107 Why were the strawberries upset? They were in a jam.

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108 What is a pirate’s favorite place to eat? Arrrrrrby’s

109 What kind of shoes are made from bananas skins? Slippers

110 Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was salted.

111 Why did the can crusher quit his job? It was soda pressing.

112 What would a fly be called if it didn’t have wings? A walk.

113 “It’s so cold!” “Go stand in the corner where it’s 90 degrees.”

114 What do you call a cow that can’t produce any milk? A milk dud.

115 Why did the fish get bad grades? Because it was below sea level.

116 I’m like a really down to earth guy because you know… gravity.

117 What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener.

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118 Why did the smartphone need glasses? It lost all of its contacts.

119 Where do animals go when they lose their tails? To the retail store.

120 I have a lot of jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.

121 Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.

122 What did the green grape say to the purple grape? Breathe dammit, BREATHE!

123 Why couldn’t the pirate learn the alphabet? Because he was always lost at C.

124 Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his treasure? Because he was a little shellfish.

125 Why did the tomato blush? Because he saw the salad dressing.

126 How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas? He felt his presents.

127 What did one penny say to the other penny? Let’s get together and make some cents.

Corny Humor About Peter Pan

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