77 Best Funny Love Quotes That Will Make You Laugh

Best Funny Love Quotes

Enjoy the best of and . All of are awesome.

1 Love is sharing your popcorn. Charles Schultz

2 People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy. If you liked this funny Bob Hope quote about love, check out all the best Bob Hope Quotes And Jokes

3 Romance is the icing, but love is the cake. Anonymous

4 Where love is the case, the doctor is an ass. English Proverb

5 Love is the same as like except you feel sexier. Judith Viorst

6 A kiss is a rosy dot over the “I” of loving. Cerano de Bergerac

7 I wasn’t kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth! Chico Marx

Check Out Really Funny Relationship Quotes That Will Make LOL

8 My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. Joan Rivers

9 If love is the answer, could you rephrase the questions? Lily Tomlin

10 Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. Billy Crystal

Continue reading these funny love quotes

Funny Love Quotes From Dirty Mind
Please share these funny love quotes on social media right now

11 Love is a sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock. Jewish Proverb

Check Out The Best Funny Marriage Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

12 I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. Groucho Marx

13 A kiss without a mustache is like an egg without salt. Spanish Proverb

14 I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators. I left early. Jack Benny

15 He gave her a look that you could have poured on a waffle. Ring Lardner

16 What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork. Pearl Bailey

17 If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question? Lily Tomlin

18 Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing. Natasha Leggero

19 Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one. Fran Lebowitz

Continue reading these funny romantic quotes below

20 I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough. Russell Brand

21 Gravitation can’t be held responsible for people falling in love. Albert Einstein

22 If you can stay in love for more than two years, you’re on something. Fran Lebowitz

23 If you can stay in love for more than two years, you’re on something. Fran Lebowitz

24 Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in. Richard Jeni

25 I’m now making a Jewish porno film. 10 percent sex, 90 percent guilt. Henny Youngman

26 Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. Phyllis Diller

27 Don’t make love by the garden gate, love is blind but the neighbors ain’t. Anonymous

funny quotes about love written on coffee cup
Share these funny quotes about love with all your friends on Facebook

28 Marriage is like pantyhose. It all depends on what you put into it. Phyllis Schlafly

29 What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds. Cindy Garner

30 Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe. Jackie Mason

31 To fall in love is awfully simple, but to fall out of love is simply awful. Anonymous

32 Love with old men is as the sun upon the snow, it dazzles more than it warms. J. P. Senn

33 There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. Chris Rock

34 I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it? Jean Illsley Clarke

35 Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. Richard Pryor

36 A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. Tim Allen

37 My brother is gay and my parents don’t care, as long as he marries a doctor. Elayne Boosler

38 When you’re in love, it’s the most glorious two-and-a-half days of your life. Richard Lewis

39 My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don’t really know me. Garry Shandling

40 Marriage is like vitamins: we supplement each other’s minimum daily requirements. Kathy Mohnke

41 Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile. Franklin P. Jones

42 Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them. Bill Maher

43 My wife gets all the money I make. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning. Ray Romano

44 Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there. George Burns

45 Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery. Erma Bombeck

46 Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest. Professor Irwin Corey

47 A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it. Anonymous

48 My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light. Rodney Dangerfield

49 What’s the best way to have your husband remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday. Cindy Garner

50 Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. Woody Allen

51 If only one could tell true love from false love as one can tell mushrooms from toadstools. Katherine Mansfield

52 Women hope men will change after marriage, but they don’t; men hope women won’t change, but they do. Bettina Arndt

53 True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. Erich Segal

54 Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. Joan Crawford

55 I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. Rita Rudner

56 By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. Socrates

57 In love, somehow, a man’s heart is always either exceeding the speed limit, or getting parked in the wrong place. Rowland

58 Breathes there a man with soul so dead, who never to his wife hath said, “Breakfast be damned, come back to bed.” Anonymous

59 Marriage is a lot like the army, everyone complains, but you’d be surprise at the large number that re-enlist. James Garner

60 An arhaeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her. Agatha Christie

61 I kissed my first girl and smoked my first cigarette on the same day. I haven’t had time for tobacco since. Arturo Toscanini

62 Being a good husband is like being a stand-up comic. You need 10 years before you can call yourself a beginner. Jerry Seinfeld

63 Love doesn’t drop on you unexpectedly; you have to give off signals, sort of like an amateur radio operator. Helen Gurley Brown

64 Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning a handspring or eating with chopsticks; it looks easy until you try it. Helen Rowland

65 I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the time he killed himself. Johnny Carson

66 Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you’re offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone’s feelings. David Sedaris

67 There is nothing better for the spirit or the body than a love affair. It elevates the thoughts and flattens the stomach. Barbara Hower

68 Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are. Will Ferrell

69 If you text ‘I love you’ to a person and the person writes back an emoji — no matter what that emoji is, they don’t love you back. Chelsea Peretti

70 When a couple of young people strongly devoted to each other commence to eat onions, it is safe to pronounce them engaged. James Montgomery Bailey

71 Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. Judith Viorst

72 Marriage is not just spiritual communion and passionate embraces; marriage is also three-meals-a-day and remembering to carry out the trash. Joyce Brothers

73 Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family. Chelsea Handler

74 If you love ’em in the morning with their eyes full of crust; if you love ’em at night with their hair full of rollers, chances are, you’re in love. Miles Davis

75 My wife, Mary, and I have been married for forty-seven years, and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never. Jack Benny

76 Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else. Jean Kerr

77 My wife is really sentimental. One Valentine’s Day I gave her a ring and to this day she has never forgotten those three little words that were engraved inside — Made in Taiwan! Leopold Fetchner

really funny romantic quotes

Why not share these funny love quotes and romantic sayings on Pinterest and other social media sites? Your friends will thank you.

Funny Love Quotes And Sayings In Video

Sponsored Content

Liked this page?

Then why not get our iOS app from ? Then you will have the world's biggest collection of jokes and inspiring quotes right in your pocket, and the app will work faster than the site, so it will save you time and keep you entertained.

Roman Marshanski

Roman Marshanski

This post has been created by Roman Marshanski, the founder of this site. He loves film, comedy, and innovative technology. He believes in bringing about positive change to the world through good-natured humor and innovative technology. If you enjoyed reading this page, follow him on or for more awesome content.
Roman Marshanski