7 Quick, to the Pacific Time Zone! It’s still Halloween in San Diego!
8 Doctor, stop shoving burgers into his heart!
9 Teddy will eat whatever you put in front of him. Remember when he ate that receipt?
10 Okay, just don’t start a brothel while we’re gone! Just kidding, you can!
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11 You can only eat an animal for so long. It’s the turkey’s turn to rule the Earth now. We had our chance and we blew it!
12 Well, I decided to go join the birds. I eat lots of bread already and I’m tired of fighting. Goodbye!
13 Gene: Remember that fart I took last night?
Louise: You’ll have to be more specific.
Gene: Perhaps this will refresh your memory.
[Plays fart sound on keyboard]
Tina: Oh, yeah.
Gene: [Plays Yankee Doodle on keyboard] I taught my fart to be patriotic. It’s Stinky Doodle Dandy!
15 Bob: But we just went two years ago.
Linda: That was seven years ago.
Bob: You sure?
Gene: I remember! I was still breastfeeding!
Linda: No you weren’t.
Gene: Not with you!
16 It’s all interesting! Each pile tells a story. For example, last night Rena had chicken. The end!
Tina Belcher Quotes From Bob’s Burgers
17 My butt is dry and strong.
18 You’re just a box, aren’t you? I’m on a date with a box.
19 Here’s a bunch of numbers that may look random, but they’re my phone number.
20 Last year I was a mummy. This year I’m a mommy mummy. I’m raising a child and going to a four-year college, all on my own.
21 There’s something in the toilet and I sat on it and it was cold and now I don’t know if I will ever be able to go to the bathroom again!
22 Bob Belcher: Tina you’re on the grill.
Tina Belcher: My crotch is itchy.
[Gene and Louise groan in disgust]
Bob Belcher: Okay, are you telling me as my daughter, or as my grill cook?
Tina Belcher: Um, as…
Bob Belcher: Because my grill cook would never tell me that.
Tina Belcher: Oh.
Bob Belcher: Also, my daughter should probably not say anything like that to me. Tell her, tell your mom.
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23 Tina Belcher: How was the puppet show?
Gene Belcher: It was good. I felt like I needed to pee the whole time. But I didn’t.
24 Bob Belcher: Lin, you want to drive an hour away and get another tree? What about our Christmas Eve Dinner? I have a ham in the oven
Tina Belcher: You have to fart?
Bob Belcher: No Tina, a real ham is currently in our oven.
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25 Linda Belcher: Tina, you’ll be babysitting tonight, right?
Tina Belcher: Yeah, about that. I have been talking to some girls at school, and they tell me that you can get paid to babysit.
Bob Belcher: Oh, boy, she’s onto us. Alright, let the negotiations begin. How much?
Tina Belcher: One thousand dollars plus parking.
Bob Belcher: How about three dollars an hour?
Tina Belcher: Okay, deal.
Gene Belcher: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Three dollars every hour?
Louise Belcher: We get a cut of that, right?
Tina Belcher: Sure.
Bob Belcher: Fine, but be in bed at ten or no one gets a dime.
Tina Belcher: Of course. We can go to bed in our sleep.
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