Bart Simpson Quotes: 15 Funniest That Will Make You Laugh

Bart Simpson Quotes From Dental Office

Enjoy 15 funniest Bart Simpson quotes. This collection of Bart Simpson quotes is the you will find. So share with your friends and read them to the very end because in the end of this page there is a huge of Bart Simpson chalkboard quotes you will love.

Bart: Alright, that’s it. I’ve been scorched by Krusty before. I got a rapid heartbeat from those Krusty Brand vitamins. My Krusty Kalculator didn’t have a seven or an eight. And Krusty’s autobiography was self-serving, with many glaring omissions. But this time, he’s gone too far!

Bart: I’ve got a story so scary you’ll wet your pants.
Grampa: Too late

Bart: How would I go about creating a half-man, half-monkey type creature?
Mrs. Krabappel: I’m sorry, That would be playing God.
Bart: God shmod. I want my monkey man!

Check out really funny animal jokes that will make you laugh

Marge: Well I’m sure glad we didn’t turn into mindless zombies.
Bart: Sh! TV.

Bart: Look in my eyes. See the conviction? See the sincerity? See the fear? As God is my witness, I can pass the fourth grade!
Homer: And if you don’t, at least you’ll be bigger than the other kids.

Bart: What’d you do? Screw up like the Beatles and say you were bigger than Jesus?
Homer: All the time. It was the title of our second album.

Check out really funny Beatles quotes that will make you laugh

Bart: You make me sick, Homer. You’re the one that told me I could do anything if I just put my mind to it.
Homer: Well now that you’re a little bit older I can tell you that’s a crock. No matter how good you are at something, there’s always about a million people better than you.
Bart: Gotcha. Can’t win, don’t try.

Bart: Dad! You killed the zombie Flanders.
Homer: He was a zombie?

Homer: Hey boy, where are you going?
Bart: Father son picnic.
Homer: Have a good time. {pause} Wait a minute.

Marge: Lisa, ordinarily I’d say you should stand up for what you believe, but you’ve been doing that an awful lot lately.
Bart: Yeah. You made us march in that gay rights parade.
Homer: And we can’t watch FOX because they own those chemical weapon plants in Syria.

Laugh at 15 best Fox News jokes

Homer: Hey kids, how was school?
Lisa: I learned how many drams in a penny weight.
Bart: I got expelled.
Homer: That’s my boy!

Homer: You’re our last hope, boy.
Bart: I really don’t want to be here, Dad! Besides, I started a fire this morning that I really should keep an eye on.

Marge: So how are things at home?
Bart: We flushed the gator down the toilet but it got stuck halfway so now we have to feed it.

Skinner: Because you have impeded science you must now aid science. Yes. Starting tomorrow you will assist me with my amateur astronomy. Taking down coordinates, carrying equipment and so forth. Four-thirty in the morning.
Bart: There’s a four-thirty in the morning now?

Bart: Hey Mr. Burns, can I go with you to get the treasure? I won’t eat much and I don’t know the difference between right and wrong.

Enjoyed these Bart Simpson quotes? Then why not share them with your friends?

Bart Simpson Chalkboard Quotes

Sponsored Content

Liked this page?

Then why not get our iOS app from ? Then you will have the world's biggest collection of jokes and inspiring quotes right in your pocket, and the app will work faster than the site, so it will save you time and keep you entertained.

Roman Marshanski

Roman Marshanski

This post has been created by Roman Marshanski, the founder of this site. He loves film, comedy, and innovative technology. He believes in bringing about positive change to the world through good-natured humor and innovative technology. If you enjoyed reading this page, follow him on or for more awesome content.
Roman Marshanski
Share the joy

Related pages

alternator 2002 ford focusscarface say goodnight to the bad guyrooster quotes and sayingsfunny lawyer sayingsfunny blonde and brunette jokesnapoleon dynamite and tinadavid krumholtz wifesiobhan from bananaramadarth vader famous quotespolitically incorrect jokes one linerspictures of joan crawford and christina crawfordcarl sagan book quoteherschel sizesquotes about being carefreebowling quotes big lebowskicorny funnybest comic strips everquotes poedaily jokes and riddlesinspirational quotes napoleon hillharry potter and the chamber of secrets dumbledorejokes about the marinesquote rumifunny relationship quotes and sayings2008 honda accordskathmandu song lyricsstormtrooper funnyquotes from simpsonsfat comeback jokesfunny statuses about relationships2003 ford focus key won t turnquotes tropic thundergalileo galilei quotesearnest hemingway quoteswhy did the obtuse angle go to the beachadversity causes some men to break others to break recordsmasturbating with a fishhelen keller optimism quotejim carrey best comedy moviesice breaker one linersfat names insultshilarious santa jokessatanism quotesscarface pussyfunny lad jokesjourney poem mary oliverbiography of mary olivershawshank redemption hammerronald reagan quote about governmentsummer finn quotesdirty ice breaker questionsbob marely quotesfunniest question jokeshuckleberry finn quotationsbad breath insultsfalling for him quotes and sayingsfunny gorilla picturejim rohn motivational speakerthe adventures of tom sawyer chapter 1edgar allan poe sayingssteve martin the jerk phonebookcorny adult jokesarcher funny quotesquotes by leo buscagliafunny pictures chickensridiculous sayings and quotesinappropriate easter jokesmost popular seinfeld quotesjokes for seniors one linersvincent lombardi quotes101 corny jokesweird acronymnapolean dynomite quotes